Feminism and Politics – Part 2

Welcome to the mostly feminist part of the posts!

Please keep in mind these are my thoughts and opinions, not something someone is channeling through me. I’m also not looking up hard facts and making references because I just don’t have the time right now, but also really want to express my views on my most neutral medium.

Image that sparked these two posts:

I feel Ashley Barnette does not fully understand the reason behind women fighting for equal pay. This is just one of many posts I’ve seen from women opposing the Women’s Rights Movement.

First of all – A woman sitting in an air conditioned cube is not fighting to be paid the same as a man putting up solar panels in the heat of the Arizona desert. The woman sitting in the air conditioned cube is fighting to be paid the same as the man doing the same job in the next cube over. It’s the woman in the desert fighting to be paid the same as her male counterpart. Women fighting for equal pay are fighting for equal pay so that when, say, a male technician quits a job, the female (with the same qualifications, experience, and knowledge) that is hired to replace him will be paid the same

Second of all – You’re a woman. Do your research before spouting off and bad mouthing women who are trying to make a change for your benefit. Don’t call them disrespectful. They are champions leading a cause to break free of the notions that women are only good for cooking, cleaning, air conditioned jobs, and having babies. These women are fitting for the rights of the women doing “the hard work of our country’s men”.

Third of all – I support my man. I love my man. I respect my man and I understand he deserves every hard earned dollar he gets. But I’ll be damned if I’m not making the same as him doing the same exact job. Don’t get me wrong, I won’t be mad at him. He isn’t the one making the decisions on salary. I’ll be mad at the men making those decisions and deciding because I’m a woman I don’t deserve to be paid the same rate. The marches for Women’s Rights aren’t about disrespecting men. They are about equality. They are about the respect of women and their value.

For the sake of clarity I’m going to call women like Ashley here Non-Supporters (or NS’s). It saddens me to see NS’s because they just don’t realize that the only reason they can even voice their opinion so strongly is because of the Women’s Rights Movements from the past. If it weren’t for the women who decide “Enough is enough, I won’t be treated like less of a human because my body has a vagina instead of a penis”, NC’s would be shut up in their houses pregnant with 2 other kids running around them with no option to get out and do more.

Even if you don’t want to get out there and fight yourself or even if you disagree with their methods (and trust me, those who were rioting do not have my approval), you still need to respect their courage to fight for something bigger than themselves. Do you really think the women who took a personal day to march are going to come back to the same sexist work environment and things will have changed? No. Things will not have changed. But their fighting so that maybe in the future they will. Maybe the next generation will get to see equality.
Last little note before I finish:

I want equal rights. And that also means men’s rights. I don’t want a boy’s masculinity to be questioned because he wants to play with dolls, become a dancer, or because he enjoys romance movies/books. I don’t want men to be questioned because they want to be stay-at-home dads. I don’t want men to be ridiculed for being receptionists and assistants. Men deserve to do what they love most without being told they need to be doing manly work. Stop telling people what they should do and start letting them believe in everything they could do. Let them soar! How amazing it would be if we all let each other become the best version of ourselves without fear of ridicule!

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Feminism and Politics – Part 1

I was going to make this one post, but it’s turning out to be rather long. That being said, I’m going to make it a two parter. Please keep in mind these are my thoughts and opinions, not something someone is channeling through me. I’m also not looking up hard facts and making references because I just don’t have the time right now, but also really want to express my views on my most neutral medium.

Image that sparked these two posts:

Note: The image sparked mostly Part 2, but that brought up some thoughts that I’m jotting down in Part 1

Welcome to the mostly political part of the posts!



So with everything that’s been happening in the US of late, I’m in awe of some of my peers. We have Trump for president. We have Women’s Rights marches. We have innocent Muslims now banned from a country many of them are citizens of. We have rioting in our streets and airports. We have Pro-Life marches to counter the Women’s Rights marches (wait…WHAT? I’ll have to come back to that later). Neighbors are arguing with neighbors. Friend’s and family’s relationships are falling apart because they can’t agree to disagree. Other countries hate us and don’t want our new president to set foot on their land (let’s face it – who can blame them?).

I have been limiting my social media interaction since about the 1st of the year. People are just too hateful. I don’t mind people speaking their mind (I’d be a hypocrite to not be OK with it since I’m speaking my mind), but I don’t understand being so hateful. I also don’t understand how so many people can get the facts so wrong. I don’t pay attention to the news that often and I don’t like politics, but I still know the difference between fact and propaganda better than some people I see.

This post (or rather the post to follow) is going to be mainly about my feelings toward those opposing the Women’s Rights Movement. However, I will touch on a couple other things. The first of which is Trump and the riots that were fueled by his election. I don’t agree with vandalizing businesses and streets simply because the nation elected the president you didn’t want. I am not a Trump supporter and, honestly, I’m scared, but I’m not throwing a fit. If you want to make your voice heard do it in a civilized manner without hurting local businesses. Having someone as radical as him in office is a terrifying thing. I wasn’t a Hillary supporter either, but I think she would have been more along the lines of a normal, predictable politician. He’s not off to a great start and that does not bode well for the remaining 4 years.

I don’t agree with his order to ban Muslims from entering our country (which includes those who are US citizens or have valid green cards). You can’t blame an entire religious group for the actions of a few. If that were the case I would have ceased being friends with anyone who calls themselves a Christian considering how many times I’ve been hurt by one of those very people.

I don’t agree with building a wall on the Mexican border because this action also feels like a racist move since he isn’t building a wall on the Canadian border. I also don’t like the amount of open racism and bigotry I have seen since the votes were announced. It’s as if people now think it’s OK to tear other ethnicities apart because an outspoken white man is in office.

There seems to be a lot of hate on both sides. Trump supporters are calling Anti-Trump supporters cry babies and lazy and all sorts of other names. Anti-Trump supporters are calling Trump supporters racist, sexist, ignorant and many other names. Both sides are right, but both sides are also wrong. Some of Trump’s supporters are racist, sexist, and ignorant, but not all. I know some intelligent, tolerant people who support Trump. Some of those who oppose Trump are cry babies and lazy, but not all. I know Anti-Trump people who are doing something about the situation without throwing a fit and who have worked hard their entire lives.

To conclude my more political portion of these two posts I just want to say that if we spent more time listening to each other and working together than bickering, maybe we could improve the situations around us.

(Part 2 will be linked here once I’ve finished posting it.)

Not Quite A Feminist Feminist Rant

I am a woman. I am a wife. I am a stepmother. I am a daughter. I am a sister. I am an aunt. I am a woman.

I work full-time. I go to school full-time. I don’t make dinner every night. I don’t keep my house “spic and span”.
I don’t want kids of my own. My husband doesn’t tell me what to do. I play video games for more than 8 hours straight. I mow the grass while my husband does the dishes. I change my own oil. I pump my own gas. I am still a woman.

At this period in my marriage I make the most money. This doesn’t emasculate my husband. He is going to school and that is our priority – not who brings home the bread. I love working. I love working in a field in which I am the minority. I have discovered Information Technology is mainly a man’s field and that doesn’t intimidate me. I am not a bad wife because some nights I work late and don’t get as much time with my husband. I am not a bad wife because my career sometimes interferes with making dinner.

I wanted to further my career, the opportunity came up, I am now a full-time student on top of working full-time. Will this take some time away from my husband every now and then? Of course! Will I have to tell him that I need to study and he will need to make his own dinner some nights? Absolutely. Does that make me a bad wife? Fuck no. That makes me a successful student and a proud woman.

Some nights I don’t feel like cooking. My husband doesn’t think less of me because he has to make his own meal from time to time. In fact, there have been times I come home to the smell of food already cooking, a bottle of vodka (don’t worry I mix it with pop), and a directive to go kill as many Super Mutants as I can. He is not less of a man for not attempting to put me in my place as a woman and telling me to make his dinner. (Pay attention to the fact I used the phrase “attempting to” because that shit wouldn’t fly).

I MAY clean my house on a Sunday or Saturday morning. Sometimes I don’t clean it until the 30 minutes before someone comes over. My house is never spotless. This doesn’t make me less of a woman. This shows I am busy and choose to spend my free time doing things I enjoy instead of trying to live up to standards that were set for woman thousands of years ago.

I am not less of a woman because I don’t want to bear children. I am not selfish because I don’t want kids. Making the choice to not have children is a personal decision. Making the choice to have a kid because it’s expected of you is asinine. Saying I don’t want the responsibility and the headache that accompanies the “miracle of childbirth” does not make me immature. I am making a calculated, thoughtful decision to not have a child that I could potentially resent and THAT is responsible and mature. (By the way, it’s OK to say you’d resent having a kid – when you have a kid and you resent that choice it’s written all over your face no matter how much you love them).

I don’t do everything my husband tells me to do. If I don’t agree with a decision he’s making I let him know. I am not submissive. I don’t go along with everything he says. I don’t care what you’ve been taught, that’s not what a wife is supposed to do. A husband and wife are supposed to make each other stronger, but how can you make your husband stronger if you never challenge anything he says or does? His word is not the final word and I won’t apologize for that or compromise myself because that’s what the Bible or any other person says is supposed to happen. Now if he makes a good case for something I disagree with and I see the logic he is making in his decision, then yes, I will concede. But ONLY once I’ve seen the logic behind it.

I don’t sit prim and proper all the time. I play video games for hours at a time while my dishes pile up without shame. I mow the yard because I love being outside. I know that’s typically a man’s job, but why should my husband have to do something that causes him an allergic reaction when I can be out there doing what I love to do? I change my own oil and do my own tune-up. Why should that be a surprise? Why should people be shocked when a woman can do her own mechanical work?

I will not apologize for anything in this post. No one will make me feel like less of a woman or wife for the things I’ve said and the things I do. I am strong. I am independent. I don’t need a book or person to tell me how to be the best woman and wife I can be. I am a woman and no one can take that away from me based on standards that were made to keep women from realizing their full potential. I am not weaker than a man. I am not less intelligent. I belong in the workforce in the same position as any man, including management and ownership positions. I deserve as much money as a man would make. I work just as hard and just as long. I have a voice. I have strength. I am a woman.

Christian Controversy

***Spoiler Alert – This is gonna be long and controversial but I have lots of thoughts this morning***

Back story – I grew up in a Christian home going to church every Sunday, Wednesday, and even Thursday or Saturday some weeks.

What I don’t understand about Christianity (or rather any organized religion – and don’t try to say Christianity is a “personal relationship with God” not “organized religion” because it is still an organized group of people believing in the same thing). Anyway, what I don’t understand is the discouraging of questions. Oh you may ask questions, but you’ll get canned answers referring to the Bible (which to me is like using a word to define itself).
I’ve always had a questioning attitude. WHY are things done like this? HOW does this work? Ask my mom and school teachers, I guess I was pretty annoying with all my questions. Although, the place I never asked questions or the subject I never asked questions about; Church, the Bible.

Every religious leader in my life (except one – who also seemed to have a questioning attitude) gave me the impression that if I questioned why we believe the Bible or how it came into being, I would be doubting God and probably going to hell and that was a BIG crime and punishment for a little girl. So I never questioned.

I followed blindly. “Oh yes, no question about it, this is the way, the ONLY way. Yes, of course this is what I believe.” In a way, I was a slave. When you take away my ability to question, you take away my freedom. I am now yours, to do whatever you say whenever you say it because I don’t want to go to hell.

I felt a great weight lift from my shoulders when the first (out of many) Christian teachers of my life encouraged me to question. I can still remember how free I felt! It was as if someone had ripped duct tape from my mouth that I hadn’t even realize was there. I was filled with questions and he wasn’t afraid to answer them unconventionally or even say he didn’t know the answer, but he’d try to find it. I don’t talk to or see him as much as I’d like to, but when I think about those days I feel a great surge of love and appreciation for him and what he did for my spirit.

As I grew older I started asking more questions, bigger questions, and soon things were taking on a completely different look. The Bible is no longer this Holy Grail to be viewed as a book fallen from the heavens and God’s own lips, but as a history book. The Church was no longer a family, but a shepherd and his flock (following the shepherd to this hill or that, eating up whatever he leads them to without worrying about whether it is real grass or Astroturf). Pastors became greedy, adulterering embezzlers. Family members became acquaintances (what Christian wants to associate with a very verbal, questioning “non-believer”).

But turning from my childhood teachings didn’t make me a bad person (like I thought it would). Forsaking my religious affiliations didn’t make me an atheist (like I was taught it would). Believing the Bible is NOT the written “Word of God” did not turn me into a fire-breathing heathen (like I was brainwashed to believe it would). I’m still a good person. If anything I’m more accepting, more loving than I ever was. I’m more accepting of other cultures and religious views. I can listen to a view that contradicts my own without feeling a surge of judgment and condemnation for the person who holds that view. I’m more loving and less judgmental than I’ve seen most Christians be for even a second of their lives.

Sure pastors and Sunday school teachers would tell you to love your enemy and all “sinners”, but I never saw them put it into practice…unless they were trying to covert the person and even then sometimes it was a very “tough love”, as they would have called it. If they were trying to convince someone that their way was the best and the person raised the type of questions I had/have, the devil had a grip on that person’s heart and prayer was going to be the only way to save them. Wait, what?? Why not answer their questions? Oh, that’s right. If you try to answer those questions it might unravel that foundation of “stone” that you stand on.

I guess that’s one area I’m less tolerant. I spent 18-19 years listening to the same words and now that I have begun to get answers to my questions, I’m less tolerant of Christianity. I now understand why so many people believe Christians to be intolerant and hypocritical. They preach “love thy neighbor” and yet, they don’t associate lovingly with anyone who doesn’t (and never will) believe the way they believe. I can’t think of a single instance where I saw my Christian leaders “fraternizing” with anyone from another religion unless it was some sort of exercise to “win the person’s heart for Christ”.

So here are some questions I’ve had (and am researching or have already found answers to – those answers being what changed my perspective completely) that I want answers to. These are questions mainly centered around Christianity and the Bible because that’s what I grew up in.
(Answers cannot be anything similar to “God through man”, “because Jesus says to…”, or “because the Bible says…” Because I’ve already heard those answers and they are too canned and scripted for me to take them seriously anymore.)

Who wrote the Bible?
Who chose the books of the Bible?
Why should I make the Bible the foundation for everything I believe?
Why is Jesus the ONLY way to heaven?
Why is every other religion (other than yours, whatever that may be) wrong?
Can science and God coexist?
If yes, why?
If no, why not?
How can you be sure there is a heaven or hell?
If there is a heaven, can I still get in if I believe in God, but don’t believe that Jesus is the ONLY way to Him?
If Jesus is the only way, since I said the prayer and accepted Jesus into my heart when I was 7, does that mean that I’m still going to heaven even if my ideas of what/who Jesus was have changed? (I mean considering on that day he was cleaning me of all my sin, past, present, and future, right?)

I know it’s been a long time since I posted and this is a pretty heavy post to launch into after such a long absence, but hey, at least it’s something. I guess it also wasn’t as long as I thought it’d be.

Color

White and black is not all there is
Gray is not the extent of what causes confusion and frustration
There are reds and blues, oranges and greens
Purples and yellows, browns and pinks
A world painted with such variety could not possibly hold truths and lessons so boring as just black and white
The sunset alone holds more room for change than those who can consciously change themselves
We accept the color we can see with our eyes far more freely than the color we can see with our hearts
A day without color will never exist
Yet, to most, there is only black and white
What way is this to live
Who, that could admire the variance of colors in a garden, can say there is only black and white
How are some eyes so blind, minds so closed, hearts so callous to accepting the color that surrounds
It shouldn’t matter the god you worship, the ethnicity you claim, or the place you lay your head
We are all one, we are the colors that make the grand painting
Up close we are all so different, but taking a step back we create a beautiful masterpiece
Acceptance of and love for our individuality should be our concern
Black and white should not be a factor in our love for each other
Things are not all black and white