Failed Dinner

So my husband and I are on a low carb diet and we decided to try a substitute for grilled cheese.

Here’s the recipe.

I mean just look at how delicious they make this thing look!

Disclaimer: Don’t get all excited thinking these are my pictures. These definitely came from snapshots I took during the video. Mine were NOTHING like how beautiful these appear.

It looks like it holds together so well and you can eat it with nothing but your hands. My husband has been craving grilled cheese and so when I saw recipe I knew we needed to try it.

It was a miserable flop. I didn’t even take pictures because it was late, I was tired, and so embarrassed by how they turned out. Instead of firm “bread” slices, the slices fell apart / scattered across the pan when I tried to flip them. The flavor was good. Really good. But it was more like a cheesy cauliflower casserole than a sandwich. We ate our “sandwiches” with a spoon for Pete’s sake!

I think our first mistake was thinking we’d have to cook the cauliflower. Our second mistake was that we bought frozen cauliflower. Those may have been our only two mistakes, I’m not entirely sure. It looks like whoever made the video used uncooked, raw cauliflower. Now I’m thinking, duh! They probably used raw cauliflower because it’s firm and won’t have all the water in it that cooked or frozen cauliflower would have. Our cauliflower was pretty drenched in water after thawing it.

Neither my husband or I claim to be chefs, but we do OK. Last night was not one of those times where it actually turned out at least close to the picture. It was no where near how the picture/video looks. But, hey, it was a learning experience and I got a good laugh out of it.

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14. My Food and I

I wish I could say we have a healthy relationship, but if I am to be honest then no, we don’t. I wish I could say I eat the appropriate portions at the appropriate times. Food is something that should be eaten for sustenance, not for pleasure. But let’s face it, humans like to enjoy anything they do. If we don’t enjoy it, we generally avoid it.
I’m trying to eat healthier or at least lose some weight. My husband and I are on a low carb diet, but I love sweets. I mean I really love sweets. We get sugar free or no sugar added treats but those can cause some unwanted side effects if you’re not extremely careful with them.
This diet has worked for us in the past. We had both lost over 50 pounds in one year and were feeling great. But then one evening we decided to get dessert, our first real dessert in over a year and from there we started making excuses – it was someone’s birthday, a holiday, a cook out – until we just started admitting we weren’t really trying anymore.
Now we’re back at it, trying to get our relationship to food back to an as needed basis. Eat to live, don’t live to eat, right?

Rainbow Cake

My masterpiece of the day was making a rainbow cake for my daughter’s birthday.

I started out with white cake mix and then split the batter into 6 bowls before adding food coloring.

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After the food coloring came pouring it into the pans.

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Then I baked it as you normally would. I did crack it by trying to remove it from the pan too early.

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So I ended up just leaving it in the pan to frost it.

This is how it looked after icing and cutting it.

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The girls loved it and since they’re having a sleep over I will probably make them colorful pancakes in the morning.

Broccoli, Chicken, & Rice

Picture it – Pennsylvania, 2011

The pots on the oven sputter and steam in a not-big-enough kitchen. The grease from the chicken splatters angrily out of the pot. She is frustrated and flustered, she feels like the chicken she’s cooking, like she is running around with her head cut off. This timer is going off here, that timer is going off there. “Oh dear! Oh me, oh my!”

Psssttt…steams rolls into the air as she removes the lid from the boiling water. “What do I do? Oh, what do I do?!!” She moves to the left and flips the chicken again, jumping back as its sizzling grease lands on her arms. One side of the chicken is nearing charcoal but checking the temperature shows not quite 160 degrees, another 20 degrees and it’d be perfect. She turns the heat down on that burner, hoping to slow cook it and avoid even further blackness.

Psssttt… “The water is boiling over again!” Whisps of hair fall over her eyes as she moves back to the pot of boiling water. She tries to brush them away with her forearm, but a second later they fall over her eyes again. She lowers the temperature on the water as well. As she dumps rice into the pot, the oven buzzer goes off and scares her half to death. Rice flies across the counter and speckles the floor. It sticks to her feet as she runs for the broom. She sweeps it off to the side for later and then goes back to the cupboard for more rice. It is now safely poured into the pot, and soaking up the water.

“Now for the broccoli!” She pours it into a microwave safe bowl, thanking God every second for the invention of the microwave. She throws it in for the specified amount of minutes and then turns back to the chicken to find it completely black on the other side now. Testing the temperature, she smiles. “180 exactly!” She takes it out of the pot and attempts to scrape off the black parts without loosing too much of the meat. Moving the empty pot to the sink she turns to the rice.

“Oh no!” She exclaims as she realizes she forgot to set the timer! “Well, if the broccoli’s been in for that long, and it could have only taken me approximately this long to do the chicken…” She ponders a moment and then decides it’s been the right amount of time. She removes it from the heat and stirs it. Suddenly it dawns on her, this is Minute Rice. How could she have left it on the stove?! The rice on the bottom of the pan is brown instead of white! She again begins scraping out the burnt parts. “Now for the easy part.” She thinks as she places the rice in a baking dish.
She gets out two cans of cream of mushroom soup and moves to the can opener. She places the can on the opener and prays as she pushes down, the motor runs, but the can doesn’t move. “UGH!” She resets the can and tries again, it moves for a second and then gets stuck. She resets it again. “It can’t be that hard to open a can! Come  on!” She exclaims as she presses down again. It runs smoothly and she is able to open the second one without a hitch. Pouring it onto the rice, she begins to mix the two together. Once that is done, she places the chicken on top of the mixture and throws the dish in the oven. She sets the timer and just as she bends her knees to sit down and wait…BEEP! Broccoli’s done!