Charlie Kelly

Today’s boot camp prompt is:

Obit for Your Favorite Character 

Write an obituary  for your favorite  fictional  character  (literary,  television,  etc.),  including how the death occurred.

PHILADELPHIA – Charlie Kelly, 42, passed away Saturday after huffing what doctors are calling “an impossible amount of glue” and eating more than 10 pounds of spaghetti mixed with cat food. Born on February 9, 1976 to Bonnie Kelly and Frank Reynolds (alleged father), Charlie lived a fast-paced and sometimes wreckless lifestyle which he loved. 

Charlie was passionate about his screenplay “The Nightman Cometh” which he wrote and directed despite illiteracy. He was inventive in his cooking style and enjoyed many types of cheeses. He was unashamed of his persistent attempts to date The Waitress even after multiple restraining orders were issued. Although he sold his shares to the other partners, he continued to care for Paddy’s Pub which is expected to close in the next month as their health inspection is nearing. A music prodigy, Charlie could play piano, harmonica, saxophone and bugle. He was also the inventor of Kitten Mittens which we all love and use regularly.

He is survived by his presumed half brother, Dennis Reynolds of Philadelphia, his presumed half sister, Dee Reynolds of Philadelphia, his uncle, Jack Kelly of Philadelphia, as well as his close friend, Ronald “Mac” McDonald. The viewing will be held at Paddy’s Pub, Tuesday at 6pm, where his associate, Matthew Mara, will perform the funeral service.


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