I Hate Myself

I hate myself

She whispers against her pillow

I hate myself

She buries the tears in the soft cotton

I hate myself

She rehashes the day over and over

I hate myself

The conversation repeats itself

I hate myself

The record skips and starts over

I hate myself

Why am I such a freak?

I hate myself

Her knees pulled tight against her chest

I hate myself

In the dark of the night, when no one can see

I hate myself

Why can’t I be free?

I hate myself

She longs to be more like those other girls

I hate myself

She wishes for his attention and affection

I hate myself

Why did I say the words in that order?

I hate myself

She repeats the words anew

I hate myself

In the black of what once was light

I hate myself

She’s said it so many times it’s become a part of who she is

I hate myself

She falls asleep, the words still echoing in her mind

I hate myself

I hate myself

I hate myself

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2 thoughts on “I Hate Myself

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