I bring it up while we talk of RAM.
It’s a light conversation.
I should be able to say it without a lump in my throat.
I’m really nervous about going under.
As the words come out, the lump rises.
Hun, it’s probably not even that bad.
He continues to work.
I know, just a small incision here, but the memories…
I trail off because the tears have come.
He sits next to me and listens.
Through my silent tears, I tell him my fears.
Through my silent tears, he reassures me.
I’m scared, I tell him on hitched breath.
You’ll be fine, he tells me softly.
I know I’ll be fine, but the past haunts me still.
I’ll be right there with you, to hold your hand.
I need you there to hold my hand.
A gentle hand wipes another fallen tear.
You’ll have me there and it will all be over quickly.
He holds me close and kisses my forehead.
A jest is made and a smile breaks through the tears.
He is my love.
He is my rock.
He takes silent tears and turns them into laughter.
He is everything I need in this world.
The silent tears are gone.
A smile and security replace them.