Where is my mind? It once was buried in the 0s and 1s behind the images I see on my screen. It once was lost in the world of processors, hard drives, and RAM. At one time I loved to delve into a problem and make the technology world my slave. Now as I sit at my desk, I’ve found my mind is not here. My mind is not inside the Internet of Things. I no longer care for discovering the backdoor into a Cisco router. I no longer care for the creation and care of databases.
My mind has left this hollow world of computing and moved back to the tangible, solid world of books. My mind has moved into the world of black and white text. Where I used to think of Cat5 vs Cat6, I now think of short story vs novel. I can’t focus. My mind wonders to the book hidden in my book bag. My mind wonders away from the screen which demands my attention to the quiet book, sitting peaceful, waiting for me to open its pages once more.
My mind leaves behind the hum of a hard disk drive spinning and moves to the soft swoosh of pages turning. My mind wonders to the story I’ve been working on for years and how I might improve it. My mind wonders outside this small box they’ve placed me in and out into the open world of hopes and dreams. To the world where I may become a published author.
I’m obsessed. I can’t stop thinking about it. Even as I install yet another piece of software, my mind travels outside my body and into the world of writing. I need to find a way to make this work. I need to find a way to refocus. I need to find a way of doing both. How do I go to school for technology and still find time to study writing? How do I work full-time and still find time to write my words down on paper? How do I keep up with all these things and more?
Do I let my words spew like vomit through the tips of my fingers and onto my keyboard without much thought for the structure? Do I type whatever comes to mind and ignore the syntax of it all? Do I write first and think later? I just want to write. More than anything I want to write.