I’ve asked myself that question many times. How do I know I’m really in love and not just in love with being in love? I asked it more frequently when I first started dating my husband. He was my first boyfriend. He was my first kiss. How did I know I was in love with him and not just the idea of being with someone?
The answer was simple and has remained the same for 9 years. I’m happiest when I’m with him. He makes me smile even when he isn’t around. The mere thought of him is enough to make the corners of my mouth curl. His presence is enough to make a bad day a little brighter.
We have our moments, like any relationship. There are days I’m frustrated with him and he’s frustrated with me. There are times when we need our space. But one simple thing remains, no matter who I have met or the new relationships I form, he is the one person in this world that makes life beautiful.
Considering my limited experience with romantic relationships, how do I know love is what I’m feeling? How do I know someone else won’t make me happier? How do I know someone else won’t brighten my day more? How do I know this is my happiest?
I have an analytical mind. I analyze simple conversations. I repeat them over and over again. Did the way I said hello sound snippy? Did I even smile while talking? All we talked about was the weather, did I say anything stupid? My mind is always searching and questioning. I’ve gone over our relationship again and again and again. I’ve thought about it so much that even the doubt of my close friends couldn’t sway me.
I also have a very anxious mind. Am I being annoying? What if he thinks I’m a total nerd? Am I too corny? God! That was the dumbest thing that’s ever come out of my mouth! Why is he still with me? Look at her – she’s gorgeous. Why isn’t he looking at her? Why is he staring at me?
When I take a second to look into his eyes all my questions go away. My mind clears up. It’s the simplest, most beautiful feeling of peace. There’s this stillness in his eyes that speaks to my soul. It tells me that I have nothing to worry about. His eyes speak louder than any words ever could.
That’s how I know I’m in love with him. That’s how I know he’s my perfect match. That’s how I know there’s not a single person on this planet that can make me feel as happy as I feel when I’m with him.