I Dreamt of…Misunderstanding?

What is this dream I dream? What does it mean to see him again? What does it mean to be the way we were 10 years ago?

We smile and tease. We playfully smack the other’s arm. We talk about nothing and find excuses to touch. I wonder if the others notice. I wonder what our friends would say.

I don’t know why I’m dreaming this dream. All romance with him has disappeared. I don’t feel what I had felt for him, yet he haunts my dream. I don’t want to dream of him. 

Bustle says:

Acording to DreamBible, dreaming about an old crush in a positive context means “you may be experiencing good luck, new opportunities, or a really enjoyable experience.”

Are new opportunities in my future? Is there some good luck I’m not seeing? I’d say I’m pretty lucky in general, but nothing out of the ordinary is happening.

Auntyflo.com says:

Being enticed by an old lover or flirting is an indication that you need more affection or that you are not being understood.

We did flirt a lot in this dream. Do I need more attention? No. Hubby gives me plenty of attention. That can’t be the answer. That part about being understood though… That may be the key.

I actually had the thought last night. The thought that some do not understand. The thought that my thoughts are not understood. 

I could tell them my hip hurts, but they’d say “It was 10 years ago, stop trying to get attention”. It may have been 10 years, but my hip aches like it’s been only 6 months. They don’t understand how the images of that day still haunt me. They don’t understand that I can’t hear or see an ambulance without being washed in a wave of memories, bad memories.

I could tell him how it hasn’t healed fully, but he won’t understand and will say “I don’t get it, how hasn’t it healed yet? Have you been doing what you should?” I’ve been doing everything I should, the skin is just taking a long time to heal. He doesn’t understand how the pressure makes me feel. He doesn’t understand how frustrated I feel.

I could tell them I’m overwhelmed. I could say that I’m tired of being his lackey. But they wouldn’t understand. They’d say “Things have been slow lately and he hasn’t made you get him something lately he couldn’t get himself.” There may not be anything urgent right now, but there is plenty to do. So many things to get caught up on while the coals are smoldering and not blazing. And yes, yes he has asked me to do things he can do himself. They don’t understand that I pick up the slack in the wake of his laziness.


Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s