Life Goals

I’ve come a long way from the Podunk town I grew up in. I started out as a baby sitter, moved into fast food, then a call center, then reception, and finally, without any formal training or college education, IT. I can’t believe it’s been almost 16 years since I got my first job. I’ve always worked hard and moved up the ladder at each job (even in babysitting I was given added responsibility – a 6 week old baby!). Now I’m gaining traction in a corporate world – somewhere I always wanted to be, but never really thought I’d get.

I’ve also changed a lot as a person. Growing up in a small town with ex-Amish parents is… Interesting. First things first I was extremely sheltered. I also attended church 3-4 times a week. I was narrow-minded and ignorant to much of the world outside that small area. As I started to move out of the small security bubble I’d been living in, I started to see how diverse our world is.

I think the only thing that truly prepared me to be accepting of all people from all walks of life and to challenge my own ideas and beliefs was that my parents always taught me to think for myself. They taught me to believe what I believe because I feel it, not because someone is telling me I should.

I say all this to say that I’ve grown. Moving into adulthood and interacting with people who had different ideas and opinions really changed me. It opened me up to how much more I could be. I’m nowhere near where I want to be.

I’m happy in my marriage and each day we seem to understand and love each other better. I’m happy in my career or at least the work I do, but I’m not so sure I want to stay with my current employer for the rest of my life. It’s a medium sized family owned company and, although they are growing, I’m not sure they can help me achieve my long-term goals. I have always been ambitious and I don’t know if I will outgrow them like I have my other jobs.
I want to finish my degree. With the help of my employer I started college. However, I am one of those unlucky people who was going to ITT Technical Institute which now closed. I am currently only working on my Associates, but I’d like to go further and I’d like to be in management someday. They may be able to help me fulfill my education goals, but I’m not sure if management can happen with my current employer as I have a boss that is not planning on going anywhere ever.

We’ll see where life takes me. I’d love to continue working in IT and I’d love to end up in management or even as a sort of trainer.

Now that I’m done with the practical stuff, on to my REAL goal. I want to be an author. I want it so bad. I’m using this blog as practice writing short stories and also stories about my life. I am also writing a novel that I think I’m pretty close to completing, but I really have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t know if I’m good, bad, great, horrible, just mediocre. I don’t have the time to devote to writing that I’d like to have. Some days I feel a little lost inside and my heart hurts because I’m not doing what I really want to be doing. I like my every day work, but not as much as I love writing. 

Writing is what I think about most days. When I’m in a meeting, I’m describing the people in my head as I would in a book. I’m watching their mannerisms and listening to the differences in their voices. I’m picking apart their features to try new ways of describing face shape. When I look outside I see the weather as words on a page. When I read other writer’s works, I pay attention to what I like about their story telling. I consume everything I can about the world around me to try to make my writing better.

I hope one day, maybe when I finish my novel, it’ll all come together and I can start guiding my steps in that direction instead of the more practical IT world.

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