Can you feel my heart beating?
Can you fall the rise and fall of my chest?
Do you hear the air leaving my lungs?
I lie awake night after night. I’m trying to remember something I’ve forgotten.
We all want to cry right? We all want to forget? I can’t think. I can’t sleep. I can’t breathe.
Time stops. Voices fade to muffled sounds. Death…accident…vehicle… words I’ve be unable to let go of. My vision blurs. Why can’t I let go? Why does everything remind me? A million things go through my head at once. Metal grates against metal. We’ve made it across… wait…where am I? How did this happen? Shattered glass, moaning, crying, red, orange, gray, headlights, silence, black. “What are you doing?” The words come out on their own, did I really say them? The fetal position, tuck down, silence, black.
Why does the visor have to be down? Why do I have to watch her graying face? Why is he apologizing so profusely? Why am I so calm? HOW am I so calm? “Everything will be OK”? Why do I keep saying that?
Panic, my legs! Oh god my legs!
Why does everything remind me?