Be Happy Day 21 – Final Day

This “life hack”didn’t exactly rewire my brain to be happier, but it did make me realize there are a few things I’m thankful for on a daily basis.
1) my husband
2) my family
3) my job

Through this exercise I realized what is most important to me. What I’d be most devastated to lose and what drives me to keep pushing even when I feel like I can’t push any harder.
I’m mentally tired. I’m tired of the excuses I make. I’m tired of being a complete scatter brain. I see potential in myself to be great, but I feel like there is a version of me holding me back. I feel like the 18 year old in me keeps whispering you’re not good enough, you’re not old enough, you’re not experienced enough. I sometimes feel like I have these ideas and this drive, but there’s always this little voice in the back of my head that’s saying “Why would anyone listen to you? You don’t have enough experience to speak on that. Do you REALLY know what you’re talking about?” And then I start to doubt myself. I start to shrink back into this goofy, quirky, 18 year old who wants to fade into the background and let everyone else make the decisions. This happens even more often when I do decide to take charge and then fail. When I make a mistake I focus on it, analyze it, replay it, and reanalyze it. I can’t let it go. Failure is not an option, but it is always a possibility and that’s what scares me the most. Failure.

Wow! I just got really off topic. Anyway, I push through all the crap and self-doubt because I love my husband and family and I don’t want to let them down. I may not be the best at what I do. I may not have the best memory in the world. And I may be the most organized scatter brain there is, but I make it work.

So in conclusion; although I disagree that coming up with three things a day to be grateful for will “rewire” your brain to be happy, I do think you will end up finding what your are MOST grateful for and what is most important to you.

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