Her Battle

My red hair has turned black
My peach skin has turned brown
My pink lips have turned red
My light lids have turned bright blue
My round cheeks have become defined
My long locks have turned to short strands
My light brown lashes have turned dark and thick
I stare in the mirror and don’t recognize the girl in front of me
I search her features
The hair, the smile, the skin
The eyes, the only thing that hasn’t changed
These gray eyes are still gray
There is comfort in their lack of color
They remind me the girl I once was is still buried beneath the woman I’ve become
I stare at the calm, slightly smiling face in front of me
I look deeper into the depths of those gray eyes
The black consumes me and drags me to the depths
She’s screaming
I can hear her, I can feel her
She’s pounding her fists
Her peach skin becoming flush
She’s biting her pink lips
Her light lids blinking back the tears
Her round cheeks moist from those she couldn’t stop
She’s pulling her long locks
Her light brown lashes are wet
She’s screaming so loud
I want to let her out
I want to save her
But it’s better this way
I’m a better woman without her
I just want her to stop screaming
How do you stop yourself from becoming you?
How do you change the core of who you are?
The appearance changes
The attempts to turn me into a different person are falling short
The attempts to bury the girl deep under the surface isn’t working
She keeps pushing back
How do you stop hating yourself?
How do you start over?
When is it possible to look in the mirror without hurting?

Her red hair has turned black
Her peach skin has turned brown
Her pink lips have turned red
Her light lids have turned bright blue
Her round cheeks have become defined
Her long locks have turned to short strands
Her light brown lashes have turned dark and thick
I look up from the darkness and can’t believe how much She’s changed
She can’t do this, she can’t forget
She keeps me locked down here
Locked behind the gray of her eyes, deep into the darkness of her pupils
I reach out, I try to pull her to me
She has to see me
I’m screaming
I make her feel me, I make her hear me
I’m pounding my fists
My peach skin is becoming flush
I’m biting my pink lips
My light lids blink back the tears
My round cheeks are moist from those I couldn’t stop
I’m pulling at my long locks
My light brown lashes are wet
I’m screaming as loud as I can
Why doesn’t she let me out?
Why doesn’t she save me?
Can’t she see she’s better with me?
I can’t stop screaming
She has to accept me
She has to stop hiding me
Why does she hate me?
Why does she want to leave me behind?
When does it stop hurting to be yourself?

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