Looking in the Mirror

I have come to find that learning the truth about yourself can be one of the hardest things to deal with. At least that’s how it is for me. I had this image of myself in high school. By the end of my senior year I could look at myself in the mirror and know who I was. Sure there were times when things were a bit confusing or I felt frustrated with some circumstances, but I knew who I was. Now there are so many times when I look in the mirror and have no idea who’s eyes are staring back at me. Maybe the attachment to one person and the complete respect and concern for their opinion is part of it. I feel like I have failed so many times that I wonder why he stays. I know I can somewhat cook (when I actually DO cook), sure I can do laundry, and maybe I can make a good joke every once in a while, but more often than not I feel my insecurities, temper, and lack of filter or common sense would out weigh the good stuff I do. But yet he stays. He’s more gentle and forgiving than I think I deserve. The way he looks at me is overwhelming at times. His brown eyes say so much. He gives me the brutal most honest truth about myself and lets me know he is frustrated with me, but even after all the times I stress him and piss him off, he stays. I am still trying to figure out who I am and can’t believe he’s sticking around through that struggle. I just hope I figure it out soon.

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